The Response to Another

The fear projects of most of my classmates were actually well done.  I was honestly afraid I wasn’t going to be able to relate to any but there were honestly a few that I responded strongly to.  The strongest one would have to be Laura’s.  Her project was over the fact that she misses her hometown and that a lot of unfortunate events have happened there since she has been gone.  The reason I responded so strongly to this is because I honestly miss my hometown.  Mine is not as far as hers but it is enough that I miss my family and friends. I still love the idea of being and independent individual up in Indy all by myself but I feel like my connection with my hometown will never disintegrate. I had discussed how much I feel held back because of my parent’s overprotective natures but that does not mean I don’t miss them a ton.  I feel like after that project discussion, my mom has slowed down on her texting me all the time.  I have gotten a new roommate and have been busy with her so I am assuming my mother knows that and is understanding that I am too busy to really pay close attention to my phone.

That is not what this blog is about though.  Laura made me realize how much I do miss my hometown and all the fun I have with my family and friends. From the Golden family cookouts with makeshift slip and slides to just having a night out with my high school best friends.  As a result, I have decided that I will be going back there this summer. I didn’t get much time last summer and I missed out on so much.  I went home for two weeks last year and that was it.  Realizing how much I missed has impacted me in a way that I don’t want to miss a single thing! I also know how poor my grandpa’s health is getting because of his cigarette addiction.  That being the case, I would like to spend more time with him and my grandma.

In all honesty, I must thank Laura for presenting her project so strongly and giving me yet another opportunity to fulfill everything that is important to me.


And this is the lovely bundle of close cousins last summer..Plus my sister there in the front. ^.^


The Response

My presentation was different than what I originally planned because I decided to change it.  I was going to use gummy bears as my creative approach to my fear by using a single gummy bear, stabbing it with several needles, and then placing other gummy bears around it as a sign of betrayal.  After thinking about that, I changed my mind and put one of my talents to work by illustrating my fear.  I did get puzzled reactions because it is an unusual fear and because I don’t think I presented it well enough.  I did get an unexpected reaction of my classmates liking how I portrayed my fear in the drawing.  I got a little pride from the fact that Beth liked the portrayal! 

Based on what I found, I definitely should have done the gummy bear idea too.  It never hurts to get overly creative.  I also should’ve went over what I was going to say because I feel like I was too nervous to really describe my certain fear.  I’m not much of a speaker so I feel that that’s the reason I took a creative approach to it.  This assignment is definitely something I would do over again to maybe give a stronger aspect to my voice!

The Only Thing to Fear is Fear Itself

I honestly thought and thought about what I would be doing for my presentation.  To be completely honest, I even had a dream about doing it…Presenting my project to the class could mix up several different reactions.  I honestly expect puzzling looks from my fellow classmates because of what the fear is.  Maybe it is an uncommon fear? I also expect them to possibly chuckle a little at the project itself due to how I am going to present it. I’ll never know how they’ll truly react to it but I can make a pretty good guess! I’ll be finding out in a few hours…

Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace!

Whoa whoa whoa! You mean to tell me that a opossum skull can allow one individual and only that individual to speak?

Only if there are crystals and feathers involved!

I liked the talking stick at first because I thought it was a cool idea to give someone the floor with no interruptions, but for some odd reason, I feel that I kind of ventured away from liking it a little.  It’s a mixed feeling I suppose? Even though I don’t mind talking in front of the class, I felt that holding the thing put a huge spotlight on me. Not to mention there was more of an awkward silence I feel. How is this any different than when it is my turn to speak about a previous project? I think it is honestly because I feel more comfortable with the flow of classmates just voicing their opinions without being designated to.  Yet, I still like the fact that you got a chance to speak instead of having to talk over anyone else or getting interrupted in the process. I honestly didn’t have too much to say yesterday but that could also be because of a funk I haven’t been able to get myself out of.  Hopefully that changes soon!

So all in all, I have jumbled feelings of the talking stick.  I loved the creative approach to both of the sticks of course! I can only assume that maybe my enthusiastic energy was put to rest for that time being…

Can’t Touch Time Management

One of the biggest roadblocks I believe I have is the fact that I have no sense of time management.  Just when I plan out and schedule times for work and times for play, there is some sort of distraction that intervenes. When I am supposed to be getting work done so I can play, a distraction comes about that stops me, making me procrastinate on a majority of work.  Most of my distractions revolve around the social media or something I feel cannot wait for another time.  For example, if my apartment is not so clean, it will drive me nuts and I will clean it when I’m supposed to be working on homework.

Two of the senses I used were sound and touch.  I had a difficult time really trying to piece something together but I finally came up with something.  If I was able to attend class last week, I probably wouldn’t have taken so long to come up with something. (I apologize) 

For Sound, I imagined the ringing of my phone or the sounds of Skype and Facebook.  Every time one of them goes off, it’s automatic for me to respond to them.  I should just turn them all off, right? Unfortunately, being social has been a huge distraction from a recent emotional situation and I feel the need to have these things on.  So what I did was have a normal night of working on homework, but…when my phone vibrated or something rang to let me know someone wanted to talk; I ignored it and got back with them AFTER my homework was finished.  It’s just such an automatic response to pick up anything that calls out to me but I honestly do not get work done when I do respond.  Being able to have a break from that made me feel more accomplished and since my homework got done, I was able to go out to dinner with one of my co-workers. 

As my second sense, I tried to portray touch.  What if there was some sort of force field around the things that distract me? Or there was a giant bubble that kept me only confined to getting my work done? I could only touch my homework and that was it! What I did was put my phone in another room and I put my laptop with it.  I needed to come up with something for this project and instead of sitting on the computer, I sat in my butterfly chair with a notebook and a pen.  I didn’t have easy access to Facebook or any other distractions.  If i can’t touch these things, they will not keep me from work that will eventually lead to play!

I feel like doing these things more often might help me fix my procrastination and help with finding time to myself.  Every once in awhile, you just need to shut everything off and have your time of bliss.~

Why Am I Held Back?

The roadblocks of my life can either depend on a current situation, time, or something inside of me that literally weighs me down. After doing this assignment, I took the time to figure out those bumps in the road that stop me on a daily basis.

I can start with a current event that is going on right now:

I recently just went through a break up and over the past month and a half, I have found times when I just can’t get motivated to do much because of being tied down with emotion.  Most of the time, I can distract myself with classes, work, and homework. 

Now for the overall roadblocks:

Something that I’ve struggled with is taking initiative.  Most of my fun revolves around going out and having a great time with friends no matter what we do.  Unfortunately, I have a hard time taking initiative by planning out something to do.  This also means contacting the friends I have around here.  I always want to go out and do something but for some reason, there is a weight that stops me from leading.

As a typical college student, I find that I don’t have much time to do things I enjoy because of homework and my job.  I’ve tried working on my time management but when I have that planned out, there seems to be some sort of distraction that breaks the time I have planned for homework.  Whether it be Skyping with my cousin or talking to friends on Facebook (the enemy of all distractions.)

One other thing that I think holds me down is the fact that I’m three and half hours away from my home (New Harmony, IN).  Growing up down there, I have friends who automatically want to see me and hang out immediately when I visit.  I get focused on that and begin to miss it.  This is only because I don’t have anyone up here who does that.  That is where my initiative needs to come in so that I can have the friendships up here that I have down there.

I’m sure I will find more roadblocks on the way but right now, I know I have to step up my game and conquer these.  I’m pretty determined to do so!

The Healing Powers of Amethyst

For the past two years, I have worn a necklace that my first manager at my first job made for me.  He made jewelry and brought in his pieces to work one day, to show just what he can do.  He asked me if I would like one and being supportive of anyone who is creative, I gladly said yes.  He showed me the assortment of stones, crystals, and metals, telling me the prices of each.  My eyes were immediately drawn to the Amethyst stone sitting in the third little section in his box.  My grandmother’s favorite color was purple and she had passed away a little over a year before.  Knowing the bond I had with my grandma, I chose that stone.  I was then given the option of putting it on a chain or a nylon rope.  I chose the rope since it was a little less expensive.  Overall, I paid $15 out of the tips I had gotten that night. He went home to make it and then brought it right to me as I was closing the restaurant down.  I immediately fell in love with it! I had known a little about the Amethyst stone and knew that it had some sort of spiritual power to heal.  But that is all I knew for sure.  I’ve worn this every day since receiving it.

This assignment required me to find something new about a familiar item, person, place, idea etc.  I researched a little more about the Amethyst stone and had no idea that it was a symbol of breaking addiction or not having an addiction in the first place.  Once I found this, I started thinking about things in my past.  I smoked cigarettes for quite a few months before I got up here for schooling, but I was able to put them down and not start back up. I don’t want to ever start back up again. Aside from that, it makes me look back on how proud I am of my father for breaking an alcohol addiction.  My junior year of high school, I lost my grandmother and my dad wasn’t around too much because of his drinking problem.  Not too long after her passing, he admitted to his addiction and went to rehab for a couple of weeks.  Ever since the day he got out of there, he has not gotten hammered. He drinks a couple of beers every now and then but it is NOTHING like before.  Taking a real look at my necklace and finding something new about it has made me reflect on things that I’m proud of and not so proud of.  This assignment has made me connect the dots to the Amethyst stone and it will always hold a special place inside of me!